In the Middle: How to Navigate Parenting a Child Going Through a Contentious Divorce

Although adults are typically front-and-center in a Chicago divorce case, the truth of the matter is that the divorce process often affects all family members that are involved, in particular the children that were born of the marriage. Indeed, when children are involved in a Chicago divorce case, the stakes of the divorce can be much higher for all family members, but children can also fall to the wayside during the intense court proceedings, mediations, and chats with legal counsel. However, there is no question that children involved in a divorce are often impacted by the process greatly, and should not be ignored. But what should Chicago parents do when a child is caught in the crosshairs of a divorce case? And where can Chicago parents turn for help with their challenging divorce issues? We answer those questions here.
Parenting a Child in the Middle of a Divorce
A grandparent’s concerns about the welfare of her grandson during the pendency of his parents’ divorce in Chicago helps put color on the question of how to help children through difficult divorce issues. “Worried Grandmother” wrote to the Chicago Tribune to ask how to help her grandson navigate his parents’ divorce. “Worried Grandmother” explained that her oldest daughter is going through a “rough divorce” and her soon-to-be ex-husband is “putting her through the ringer.” The soon-to-be ex-husband thinks that his wife was unfaithful during the marriage, and he believes that he can obtain alimony and extra expenses because of it. As a result, “Worried Grandmother” wrote that, “This has put my grandchild in a difficult and confusing situation. He is 17 years old, and he loves both his parents. He feels he has to be loyal to his dad, because his dad says he is the victim. But he also acknowledges that he has never seen his mother so happy. They had a contentious marriage that made her quite anxious and unhappy.”
Caught in the Middle, but Loyal to Both
In response to “Worried Grandmother’s” inquiry, Chicago Tribune advice columnist R. Eric Thomas made it clear that what is important is that her grandson “needs a trusted adult nearby who can tell him things he really needs to hear.” Thomas encouraged “Worried Grandmother” to let her grandson know that “he doesn’t have to pick a side,” and to tell him things like,“‘It’s not right that you’re being put in the middle of this contentious divorce’ and ‘I know it’s hard to hear negative things about your parents and I’m sorry’ and ‘No matter what you do, you’re not being disloyal to either parent. They have a responsibility to show up for you and make sure you know you’re loved unconditionally. They might fail at that – they’re human – but when they do, remember that this isn’t something that you caused.’” While Thomas noted that “the way [the son] is being leveraged by his father is very inappropriate,” he also advised that what is most important is to “Help your grandson to develop internal boundaries while you advocate on his behalf with the adults in his life. This will help him to have healthier relationships with his parents and with future partners.”
Getting Legal Help with Your Chicago Divorce Case
If you are in the Chicago area and you need legal help with your Chicago divorce, contact the experienced Chicago divorce lawyers at the law firm Arnoux Sharma Standeford, LLC. The experienced Chicago divorce lawyers at the law firm Arnoux Sharma Standeford, LLC are here to help individuals in Chicago with their challenging divorce issues. Do not hesitate to speak to a lawyer about your case today. Contact Arnoux Sharma Standeford, LLC now and speak to a lawyer about your case.
Source:
chicagotribune.com/2025/04/26/asking-eric-soon-to-be-ex-husband-asking-for-alimony/