Holidays, Kids, and Divorce: Making New Traditions

The holiday season is underway, and it’s time to start planning your celebrations. Splitting time between you and your ex can be challenging, so here are a few tips to make the holidays less stressful.

• Coordinate a Schedule in Advance.
  • If you have completed settlement proceedings, there should be an agreement in place regarding dates, times and logistics surrounding everything, including holiday plans. This pre-arranged schedule helps to avoid confusion when planning activities & events, and gives kids structure and understanding. If an agreement has not yet been reached, discuss options with your attorney to plan and schedule splitting parenting time with your ex.
• Start New Traditions.
  • New doesn’t necessarily mean bad. If you always spend the holidays at home, consider travelling to visit out-of-state families, or if you usually have plans with family, try including friends in the mix. Changing your routine may help to assuage feelings that you are missing out on something. Acknowledge that holidays will be different going forward and include the kids in making new plans.
• Coordinate Gifts.
  • Gift-giving shouldn’t be a competition, so talk to your ex and establish a budget. This will help to set expectations for your new family structure. You may also consider helping your kids shop so they enjoy their holiday time and prevent any potential awkwardness and anxiety. You could do the same with Halloween costumes and Mother’s/Father’s Day as well.
• Take Care of Yourself.
  • You may not realize that your new holiday arrangements may take a toll on you, and you should let yourself feel however you feel. Spend time doing things that make you happy and prioritize your enjoyment and reach out to friends and family if you are feeling stressed or sad. Just remember that things will get easier as new traditions arise and more time passes.